Full Gloom

Alone in his temple, Ethan ensures that he had everything he needed to perform the Full Moon Esbat. Standing at his altar, he places a midsized cauldron on top of his pentacle. To the left of the cauldron he places a black candle and a white one on its right.

"Let's see," Ethan thought to himself "what am I missing?

"Water!" Ethan said to himself as he walked downstairs and out his back door. He had remembered that it had rained earlier that day and he was sure that there would be fresh rainwater in the bird-bath. Ethan scooped some water out of the bath using the Chalice from his altar and then pauses in his kitchen to collect some chocolate chip cookies and juice from the fridge. Back upstairs, Ethan pours the rainwater into the cauldron, and then arranges the cookies and juice on his altar. He then takes a large silver dollar from his magickal cabinet and places it inside the cauldron.

As he made his final preparations Ethan began thinking about the Full Moon itself. He rememberd from science class that a full moon occurs when the Moon is exactly opposite the Sun, thus fully illuminating the Moon. Humans have looked up to the heavens for centuries in awe of the moon. In traditional Wicca, Ethan continued his line of thought, the moon is associated with the Goddess and at this time of the month her attention turns to her followers, who draw down her power, to fullfill their needs. As a sign that the energy is being directed towards their goals, the moon will grow smaller each night and the cycle will begin again at the New Moon.

Tonight, the full moon occupied Aquarius, the sign traditionally corresponding to friends, enemies and close associations.

Ethan began to think about his desire to draw closer to the male aspect of the God, who Wiccans sometimes call The Horned God, owing to his connection to nature and the animals. In his research, Ethan had learned that some cultures, such as German Paganism as well as Amerindian traditions, regard the Sun as female and the moon as male. Ancient Egytians, he thought, honored Amun, a Moon God, from which some believe the word, 'amen' is derived. Other Moon Gods include Hjuki (Norse), Eterah (Mesopotamian), Gou (African), Tecciztecatl (Central American), and finally, there is a Christian Myth concerning a man who dared to gather sticks on the Sabbath who was cursed by God to labor for eternity and who became the Man in the Moon.

Ready to begin his ritual, Ethan lit the illuminator candles on his atlar. He then took a few moments to ground and center before beginning. When he was in a state where both his mind and body were completely relaxed, he lit the fire-candle from one of the illuminator candles and then the incense from the flame of the fire candle. Next, he took three pinches of salt from one of his element bowls and placed this in the bowl of water and he thought about the interconnectedness of all things.

Holding his hands over the elements, Ethan chants

"Earth, Air, Fire Water,

be now free of debris and clutter;

In the name of the Horned-One,

as I will so be it done!"

Satisfied that the elements were now pure and free of psychic debris, Ethan then took up the fire candle and carried it before him around the room.

"The element of fire now removes all,

negativity held within these walls;

cleansing this place,

to be for me a sacred space.

Ethan stretched out the chant in a sing-song voice so that he returned to the altar just as he finished the last words. Placing the fire candle on the altar, he then did the same with each of the remaining three elements.

When he was done consecrating the sacred space, Ethan stood before his altar facing North. He took up his wand in his dominant hand and stretched it out before him. Walking clockwise around the room, Ethan chanted his circle conjuration as he imagined a bubble of energy springing up all around him.

"I conjure thee circle of art,

the veil between the worlds to part;

round and round the circle is bound,

within protection shall be found.

Contain the power raised herein,

until I set it free again,

In the name of the Horned One,

As I will so be it done. "

Confident that the circle was cast, Ethan returned the wand to it's rightful place and took up his Athame. Facing North across his altar, Ethan took a step back and drew a large invoking pentagram in the Air before himself saying:

"Earth, element of the Northern quarter,

I call you to witness this right & guard this border;

In the name of the Horned One,

As I will so be it done."

Again, Ethan moved around his altar calling each of the remaining elements at the cardinal points of East, South, and West. When he was done, he placed the Athame back on the altar and standing before it he comtemplates the Moon aspect of the Horned God with which he wished to align himself during the ritual.

"I call the Moon-God to descend,

upon this circle and to lend;

your energies to this right,

& grant success to my plight!"

As Ethan chanted the words he felt what he could only describe as a shower of blue energy descend all around him and flow through him making him feel safe, secure, and loved.

From this place of perfect love Ethan continued the ritual.

"In this place at this time,

the Full Moon now above us shines;

he showers us with his radiant beams,

illuminating both our hopes & dreams.

When the Full Moon hangs in the air,

offer up to him your prayers;

& what you seek shall me given,

for such is the law of heaven."

Ethan paused to reflect on the words he had just spoken. He then removed his Book of Shadows from its stand beside his altar and read the Charge of the God to His Gay Sons....

"You know me and you do not, for I can never be fully known and yet I cannot be avoided. Whether you sought me out or fled from me, you were never far from me, for I am always with you. I am inside of you and all around you. You are my son, and I am yours. Your belief in me sustains me, and I am that part of you that gives you strength and courage.

I am the light that guides you, and yet I crouch in darkness to frighten you, for fear is no more than the desire to live and I am life itself. To know fear is to know me, but I am also love, freedom, and joy; and again I am sickness, pain, and oppression--- for I balance all things. I am present in the swelling of your loin, and in the ripeness of fruit. My voice can be heard in the laughter of boys at play, and the lines upon the faces of old men point to me.

I surrendered my life for you and yet I live for I am boundless and eternal. My love and compassion for you knows no end, for I share in your greatest pleasures as well as your deepest sorrows. No pain is too great for you to bear, but should your strength abandon you, I will bear the weight of your burden. Even as you fear me, do not cower before me, but love and embrace me, even as I love and embrace you. Be not ashamed and I will shower my blessings upon you."

Pausing again to reflect on the words he had just read, Ethan placed his Book of Shadows on its stand. He then moved towards the altar where the glow of the candles cast an eerie light across the water in the cauldron. Using the water's reflective surface as a kind of mirror, Ethan relaxed his mind and looked through the water focusing on the silver coin at the bottom of the cauldron.

After a few minutes of relaxed observation, the water became cloudy and a dark vision unfolded before his eyes. Ethan witnessed a angry cloud that was small at first, but which slowly grew larger in size. It occured to him that the cloud wasn't growing in size, but rather it was moving towards him! When it seemed that the cloud was just before him, Ethan saw two glowing red eyes open up in the center of the cloud. As he stood seemingly face-to-face with this vision Ethan could not look away from the red-eyes glowing before him. Then suddenly a hand burst forward from the cloud as if to grasp him in it's clutches, or was it reaching out for help?.

"Be not afraid!" Ethan heard the words echo through his mind and with that the vision disappeared and the room returned to normal again.

After the ritual, Ethan had the urge to stop right there and retire to bed. However, he knew the dangers of leaving energies bound to a place. Moving on to the cakes and ale part of the ceremony Ethan blessed the chocolate chip cookies and juice in the name of the Moon God and then consumed them to ground his own energy and bring him back to normal reality.

Ethan thanked the Moon God for his presence and released the energies of the four quarters thanking them for their protection. Finally, reversing his movement from before, Ethan takes his wand in his receptive hand and stretched it out before him. Walking counter-clockwise around the room he takes down the circle saying:

"Circle of Art open wide,

release the energies held inside;

round and round now be un-bound,

energy sink into the ground.

Let us now return again,

to time and place that are the same;

In the name of the Horned One,

As I will, so be it done."

When he completed his circle, Ethan returns his wand to the altar and extinguishes the candles leaving the incense to burn out on it's own.

Finally, Ethan took a cookie and some of the juice downstairs and out his back door. He walked over to a large stone near the eastern-corner of his back yard fence.

"I make this offering in the name of the Moon-God," Ethan whispered "in recognition of and thanksgiving for, my many blessings."

Returning indoors, Ethan locked up his house and made his way to his bed where he was happy to slip into the arms of Morpheus and forget about the vision of the red-eyed cloud and the arm reaching out to him.